Help!

Help!

(I wrote this post shortly after we first moved to the place we will live for the next few months. We didn’t have internet and so couldn’t put it in the blog until now. It records our first impressions. Fortunately things have become easier since then as the next post tells.

January 5th, 2008

When we were thinking of using a weblog to chronicle our trip and work in Kenya, our intention was to let our experience encourage others to try a similar volunteer opportunity. So we named the blog “wecanyoucan” with the expectation that the posts would be positive and motivating. Also, we expected to have challenges and so the blog was also intended to keep those who were interested in what we are doing informed of our needs. Unfortunately this initial impression of our situation will not be positive and motivating, but we think we need to be honest about what our feelings and responses are to our new environment.

First, I (Howard) wonder if I had a certain amount of pride in making this trip, and if, somewhere in the subconscious there is the idea that a trip like we are taking is exotic in some way. If so, I have been disabused of both notions.

We were picked up yesterday by Philip (of the orphanage “Stars for Jesus”) and by Stephen of Stema school and driven to our apartment. The flat and school are in an urban area, with houses and businesses fronting the one-lane dirt road which runs past the school and our place. We next met Stephen’s wife Mary (hence “Stema”). They all did their best to make us feel wanted and welcome. We saw our apartment and then were taken shopping to buy our household needs- a bed, blanket, water purifier, kitchen and table things and the like. On returning to our place and now alone we are struck by our new situation.

Our ground floor apartment is almost directly across the road from the school. The road is the main thoroughfare for the community. Our front room and bedroom window are about 20 feet from the road. The road intersects at the entrance to our place and at the intersection there are a couple of fruit/vegetable stands and an assortment of other small, poor businesses, including unfortunately for us, a bar. There is fairly constant local foot and vehicle traffic, and noise. Last night neighborhood dogs barked more or less constantly. (Thankfully - we brought earplugs!) This morning there is the noise of roosters crowing, cows bawling, a donkey braying, a far-away ghetto blaster playing Kenyan pop music, car noises, babies crying or screaming, children playing and people talking and laughing. Judy and I love our privacy and peace and quiet and in our Campbell River condo often were annoyed by parking lot and occasional neighbor noise. This new situation is about 10 X worse and will require a big adjustment for us.

A further concern is the lack of security. We were told there was a guard at the gate 24/7. This is not really the case and we need to deal emotionally with our concern for our safety. We have ordered an iron safety door for our main entry door.

In spite of the closeness of people however, the worst feeling is of being so entirely alone. There is nothing exotic about urban Kenya – just the opposite. As the recent riots have shown the people are generally poor, occasionally lawless and mostly ignorant of the rest of the world. We are the only white people in the area and we are stared at by everyone. There is no one to really talk to about life as we have known it or are experiencing it now. Some local people may speak basic English, although in our area most speak the tribal language Kikuyu. There is no entertainment or diversions within walking distance. The nearest shopping area, a crowded dirty strip of highway is about a 25 minute walk. It has numerous small shops catering to local needs. There are no things such as theatre, museums or galleries, or even interesting window-shopping to be had. We have no vehicle to allow us to travel anywhere, although we will in time learn to use the primitive “matatu” (mini bus) system which serves as public transportation here. We have no mission organization to call on for support. We feel quite overwhelmed.

Intellectually of course we knew all this beforehand, but when you are finally here, and your hosts have left for their own homes, and you lay in bed the first night, the full impact of your situation hits you. And our initial thoughts are to wonder if it is possible to live like this, or if we have made a serious mistake of judgment and should start to plan to leave.

The next morning we know we can’t opt for running away and we decide to persevere, at least for the time being. We have made a commitment that we can’t give up on so soon. Today we will go walking and try to discover our area. We will arrange for a cell phone working and internet access. Judy reminded me of a relevant verse that is helping us to adjust to our situation. “unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.” Our challenge is to die for a time to those things we enjoyed and our false expectations. But this will not be easy and we would appreciate your prayers.